Wake Up Late with Dougie Show

Todays Topics

Being a Florida Comic, Dave Chappelle Gets Tackled on Stage, Dean Shares Story of When He was Attacked by an Audience Member, Ways to Defend Yourself on Stage, & How Far Away are We From Complete Chaos? 

The News is a Joke

"A Russian reality TV show called 'I'm Not Gay' makes 8 contestants guess which is gay — and it's hosted by a right-wing politician", "NASA wants to send nudes to space in order to attract aliens", "Ulta Beauty apologizes for 'Come hang with Kate Spade' perfume promo email", "Canada Proposes Space Law to Punish Crimes Committed on Moon", "A Russian oil tycoon was found dead after reportedly being treated with toad venom to cure a hangover", "Maine close to ridding license plates of obscenities", & "Car owner who left Jeep at dealership gets sued after worker dies during oil change"

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Show Opens with discussions on such things as; Elon Musk Now Owns Twitter, Elon asks Bill Gates if he still has a $500M short position on Tesla, when Bill asks Elon to be a part of one of Bill's philanthropic events, No More Masks on Airplanes, New Jersey Legalizes Weed, & Mike Tyson pummels a young douchebag, who was screwing with on a recent flight.

The News is a Joke

"Cuba Gooding Jr. To Host Event At NYC Strip Club Less Than 2 Weeks After Pleading Guilty To Forcible Touching", "A Florida mom was arrested after leaving a voicemail threatening to blow up her son's school because he wanted more food at lunch", "Family sues country club, wins nearly $5 million due to too many golf balls damaging their house", "Woman with 229 pounds of weed in her car runs out of gas on I-55 Bridge, police say", "Firefighters battle heavy smoke at medical cannabis dispensary in Clearwater", "An alleged smuggler with $40,000 worth of gold hidden under his wig and inside his rectum was arrested by customs officers", & "Baby born with two penises has larger one chopped off by doctors"

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Today's Topics

Chris Rock ain't saying Sh$t about the Slap until he gets paid, Weed very close to being Federally Legal, Spring Break may be a thing of the past, & an old tape, from a local news channel from Minnesota,  surfaces of what may be a Young Prince. What do you think?

The News is a Joke

"Russian Troops Dead After Getting ‘Treated’ to Poisoned Meals, Ukraine Officials Say", "A Florida Teen Was Killed As He And Another Teen Took Turns Shooting Each Other While Wearing Body Armor, Police Said", "Two women arrested in La Quinta on suspicion of running a house for prostitution, $14K in cash seized", "Obese diners to be banned from entering naked restaurant because it will be 'miserable' for other guests", "Widow spends GoFundMe donations from husband’s death on gifts for lover accused of killing him", "Woman excused from Nikolas Cruz sentencing jury after saying ‘sugar daddy’ needed her" & "Electric shock to penis may cure premature ejaculation: study"

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Show Opens with discussion on the "Bitch Slap" at the Oscars! Is Will Smith's career over? Will the Academy Ban him? What would you have liked to see Chris Rock do to retaliate? Also, Desantis vs Disney & Much More

The News is a Joke

"Bizzare ‘diet cult’ that lives without food and water caught its leader eating McDonald’s", "Venice tourists given water pistols to fire at aggressive seagulls", "People who haven't contracted COVID-19 yet have no friends, Korean doctor says", "Paralysed man communicates first words in months using brain implant: ‘I want a beer’, &  "Soccer Announcer Bravely Forgoes Euphemisms, Says 'Penis'

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Show Opens with discussion on; Chinese airliner that fell from the sky, Transgender Woman Wins NCAA Swim Title, Pete Davidson Brandishes Kim Kardashian's name on his chest, Daylight Savings Time may be permanent, What's next for Jussie Smollett? & Russia is asking for Alaska back!

The News is a Joke

"Dentist broke his patients’ teeth to make millions installing crowns, jury finds", "Swimming pools built for monkeys in Lop Buri to prevent aggression from heat", "Ex-Stripper Running For Congress In Philadelphia: 'Elect Hoes', "Glass Tumbler Found In Woman’s Urinary Bladder 4 Years After Use As Sex Toy", & "Americans can get $5 million for informing on Russian oligarchs' assets"

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Show Opens with discussions on the following Topics: Horrible Hotel Stories, Tom Brady is Back! Bob Saget's Family Legaly Block Autopsy Results from the Public, Let's Blame Putin, Kamala Harris Laughs When asked about Ukranian Refugees, US Astronaut may be left behind when Russians return to Earth, Elon Musk Challenges Vladimir Putin to a Fight, & Florida's "Don't Say Gay" Bill. What is it about Really?

The News is a Joke

"Jussie Smollet in Psych Ward", "Pete Davidson Cements the Title as "The Luckiets Man on Earth".  "Norton Announces Bill to Require Gender Equality in Crash Test Dummies", "Fan Spends $500K On Brady's 'Last Touchdown Ball' Hours Before His Return To NFL", "An Educator Read ‘I Need a New Butt!’ to Children. Then He Was Fired.", "Florida man crushed to death by bulldozer while using porta-potty, authorities say", & "New York City man rescued twice in 2 days on Arizona hikes" 

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Show Opens with discussions on such things as; Any challenges in being a stand up comedian while having a professional day job? Stand Up Comedy has survived Covid, but can it survive a war & inflation? & Japan's Killing Stone splits into two, releasing superstitions. What if any are some of your superstitions?

The News is a Joke

"Nuke-proof ‘doomsday plane’ spotted flying over Nebraska", "Germans tout return of conscription and say military service could ‘do real good’ for society", "Personal trainer dies from caffeine overdose after accidentally drinking the equivalent of 200 cups of coffee", "North Carolina woman fights to keep her 'FART' license plate", "A world champion cyclist says racing has gotten so tough that riders have taken to peeing on each other during races", & "Man gets harpoon stuck in his penis because he allegedly didn’t make his wife dinner"

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Special Episode where Dougie Almeida welcomes from the Worlds Series of Comedy Joe Lowers & Jason Rowland. Listen in as Dougie, Joe & Jason discuss the World Serie of Comedy & a variety of stories from the Festival

The News is a Joke

"Ditching vodka to protest Russia? You might be surprised where that bottle is actually from", "Florida man breaks beer bottle over his head, gets shot by deputy who thought sound was gunshot", "Mom raises awareness after son is diagnosed with uncombable hair syndrome", "Heat wave killed bees", "Last summer's heat wave in B.C. caused bees to ejaculate to death", "Survey shows 1 in 8 people suffer anxiety from low phone battery" & "Company offers more than $6,000 to smell dog poop for two months"

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Show Opens with discussions on the importance of the use of Social Media as a comic, The Queen of England has Covid, Patrick Mahomes girlfriend is a solid 6 according to Dougie, Breaking up is hard to do, just ask Kanye West, & Matthew Stafford appears to care less for a woman photographer who fell 10ft after taking his photo

The News is a Joke 

"Former Louisiana Teacher Admits Feeding Students Sperm-Laced Cupcakes", "A married couple living in separate NYC apartments say it's done wonders for their relationship", "Husband Slammed for Upgrading to Business Class on Flight and Leaving Wife in Economy", "Police: Teen delivery boy coerced into sex acts in Miami Beach apartment", & "Cross-country skiing-Finn Remi suffers frozen penis in mass start race"

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Show Opens with the introduction to the new comedy tour "Laughs & Liberty Comedy Tour", What did you think of the Superbowl Halftime Show? Suspicious circumstances regarding Bob Saget's death come to light, What's happening to the Canadian Trucker's "Freedom Convoy"?  Joe Biden Jokes are now accepted! Biden wants tax payers to pay for crack pipes & Southwest Airlines brings back alcohol to its flights

The News is a Joke

"Manilow, 'Macarena' Played On Loop To Flush Out Anti-Vaccine Mandate Protesters In NZ", "Dave Chappelle Gets Chapped Over Ohio Affordable Housing Plan", "A woman with a severe nut allergy says she was kicked off an American Airlines flight after crew members told her they are required to serve nuts", "Chinese dissident Ai Weiwei sparks outrage among social media followers over vaccine refusal meme post", "Rock Band to Release 1,000 30-Second Songs to Trick Spotify Royalty Payout", & "TRANSRACIAL" INFLUENCER REVEALS PLANS FOR PENIS REDUCTION TO BECOME "100% KOREAN"

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Show Opens with Dougie & Eddie discussing David Letterman, Running the Light, Differences between the New York & LA Comedy scene, The importance of having a good emcee, What make a Joke Great? & Much More!

The News is a joke

‘Body’ found along national forest trail in Georgia turns out to be a life-sized doll", "Black Former Receptionist at Confederate Museum Files Discrimination Complaint", "Afghanistan's Taliban told they can't take their guns to the funfair", "B.C. woman finds naked man was living in trunk of her car for 3 days", "Lawmakers Say This Holy City’s Airport Code Is Too GAY", "Ontario spent $133,866 trying to fire employee over alleged $2.99 theft", "Texas woman accused of killing roommate by sitting on her", & "Homeowner using flamethrower to melt snow sets house ablaze, Connecticut officials say"

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Show Opens with discussions on such things as; Joe Rogan vs Neil Young, Bill Maher seems to be turning Conservative, Sean Penn says men have become quite "Feminized", Do's & Don'ts of clearing ice off you winshield, & Internet Trolls are Narcisists, Psychopaths, & Sadists

The News is a Joke

"Florida Man Shoots His Gun Blindly from his Car in Road Rage Incident", "A 73-year-old New York grandmother outsmarted scammers who pretended to be her grandson and said he needed $8,000 to be bailed out of jail", "Two men propped up a dead man's body and brought it to a post office to try and collect his pension", "A Texas woman demanded to buy a child from a mother at a Walmart for $500,000", "Pot bust made on Stoner Drive in Bakersfield", "Drunk priest 'mistakenly' slaughters human instead of goat; arrested", "Young couple shocked to discover the bargain home they bought was inspired by The Exorcist", & "Woman Struck, Killed By Car After Falling From Party Bus In LA"

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Show Opens with discussions on such things as; What are some of your day of show rituals? What makes a Green Room Great? Crazy Stories about opening acts & much more

The News is a Joke

'I was bad wrong': Tennessee state lawmaker apologizes after trying to pants referee at basketball game", "'Mystery hut' spotted by China's moon rover gets an explanation", "Woman Who Earned $200,000 Selling Fart Jars Hospitalized By Her Work", "An album made entirely of endangered bird sounds beat Taylor Swift on a top 50 chart", & "High school girls’ basketball coach suspended after team defeats opponent 92-4

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Show Opens with discussions on such things as, Paton Oswalt apologizes for taking photo with Dave Chappelle...Catching Covid at family gatherings & being blamed for bringing it to the party... George Lopez walks off stage during a show and Antonio Brown walks off field in the middle of a football game...& Have you ever thought of quiting comedy? 

The News is a Joke

"Sausage Vending Machines Are a Thing in Germany", "Chicago woman quarantined in airplane bathroom for 3 hours after testing positive for Covid-19 mid-flight", "Mom finds crystal meth worth $120,609 in cereal box as she made breakfast for toddlers", "Unusual phenomenon causes fish to rain from sky in Texas town", "Wisconsin Badgers accidentally shatter trophy while celebrating Duke's Mayo Bowl win", "Man hired babysitters to treat him like a baby, change his diaper, Louisiana cops say", "Jail For Drug Dealer Who Decorated Christmas Tree With Cash And Cocaine", & "MAN'S LAST HOPE Inside the real life ‘Noah’s Ark’ designed to save mankind after the apocalypse with a ‘back up’ vault on the MOON"

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Show Opens with "Let Me Ask You", where Dougie asks his guests.....

Should Hollywood elites, stay out of politics? Who has helped mankind more, Elizabeth Warren or Elon Musk?  What would you do if a woman on an airplane, puched you & spit in your face? & Should Student debt be forgiven? 

The News is a Joke

"Colorado leads nation in “dog-poo complaints,”, "study finds A woman was prosecuted and fined for keying a Tesla Model 3 after being caught by its onboard cameras", ‘Mayor Wuhan’: Boston leader Michelle Wu flooded with racist comments after COVID-19 vaccine policy", "Holiday gifts taken from luggage, replaced with dog food", "Woman claims she was ‘groped’ in Meta’s virtual reality metaverse", "Farting barrister loses harassment claim against colleague who asked him to stop", & "Group of Monkeys Kill Over 250 Dogs for 'Revenge' in Indian Town"

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Show Opens with "Let Me Ask You"....How do you feel about Crowd Work?  How do you feel about Guest Spots? Would you go to a holiday party where the hosts ask you to bring proof of vaccination? Should there be a female James Bond? & Who is on your Comedy Mount Rushmore?

The News is a Joke

'The Black Bitch' pub: Alex Salmond hits out at plans to change name, Large California school districts eliminate ‘D’ and ‘F’ grades, Camel Beauty Contest Rocked By Botox Scandal, 86 Sports Bettors Get Really Lucky, Allowed To Bet On Game After It Ended, A Michigan woman faces prison after trying to hire an assassin through a fake website, & Florida man used flamethrower to settle parking dispute, police say

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Show Opens with Let Me Ask You....

Spotify removes comedians from its platform. What do you know about this & is it effecting you? 

Mark Cuban buys a small town in Texas. If you could buy any town in the world, what would it be? 

Plumber finds cash in the walls at Joel Osteen's church that may be tied to robbery reported by the church years prior. Is Joel Osteen Guilty or Responsible? 

A mountanier found a trove of rubies & emeralds on a mountain top & returned them to the local police department. Would you have returned them? 

Do you agree with the parents of underage criminals being charged or held responsible for their children's actions? 

THE NEWS IS A JOKE

Arlington man gets 23 years for killing his wife who asked for divorce day after wedding, A veteran Taco Bell worker of 20 years says he quit because customers have gotten so 'unreasonable' and hard to deal with, Bomb squad called to ER after a patient turned up with a WWII artillery shell lodged in his rectum, police say, Scientists Made an Eco-Friendly Plastic Using DNA From Salmon Sperm, VALLEY OF THE DOLLS First lesbian sex robots may be coming soon as sexbots start being programmed to be gay, Austria: Doctor fined for amputating wrong leg of patient, & Woman allegedly caught breastfeeding cat on Delta Air Lines flight

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Let Me Ask You....

What's Up with Lebron James? Was Janet Jackson Super Bowl Wardrobe Malfunction a Publicity Stunt or Actual Malfunction?  & In lieu of the Ghislaine Maxwell Tria, "How would An Defense Attorney Defend Jeffrey Epstein? 

Things To Know

Jussie Smollett Trial & Ghislaine Maxwell Trials Begin This Week

The News is a Joke

Queen’s Brian May Speaks Out Against BRIT Awards’ Gender-Inclusive Categories,

A Texas woman was found dead 2 days after she signed a $250,000 life insurance policy, and her husband has been charged with her murder, North Korea bans leather coats after Kim starts new fashion trend, Senior citizen charged with having unnatural sex with goat, German euthanasia clinics refusing unvaccinated customers & Man sets world record with collection of 1,230 different soccer balls

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Today's Topics: Kyle Rittenhouse Verdict, Liberals now fear people standing up against their nonsense, FBI tags parents of school children with "Threat Tag", & Apple is developing a fully autonomous car

Things to Know

Russia uses missle to destroy one of it's satellites. Chinese military are setting up military bases in Africa & The Simpsons are coming to an end

The News is a Joke

"River in Hawaii that smells like beer discovered to be alcoholic", "WOKE WATCH: Prof says let's ditch the term pedophile for 'minor-attracted person', "Denmark Spends $150K to Clean Beach Seaweed and Plastic, Then Dumps It Back in the Sea", "His cellmate passed too much gas. So he knocked out two teeth, Florida Keys cops say", "A mom and her biracial child were stopped by police at a Denver airport because a Southwest employee suspected human trafficking", "Florida police seek help to ID victim from tattoo after body parts found floating in bay", & "Brass Against Apologize For Singer Urinating On Fan’s Face During Festival Set: “Sophia Got Carried Away”

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Today's Topics

Facebook changes it's name to "Meta", Southwest Pilot being investigated for starting, "Let's Go Brandon" chant, on SW flight, Ice Cube walks of set of Sony Movie, "Ah, Hell No" due to vaccine mandate, The McRib is back & Brian explains what happened at "American Idol" 

Things To Know

Clueless Kaepernick, equates NFL Draft to Slavery. Major League Baseball considers Robot Umpires & the Kyle Rittenhouse Trial begins

The News is a Joke

"Suspect who stole U-Haul calls police and asks for deputies to stop chasing him", "A 33-year-old California man says he was able to pay off his student loans by surviving off of two meals a day at Six Flags for years", "A Chinese millionaire said he withdrew $780,000 and made bank staff count the notes by hand after security guards were rude to him", "Turkey plans to deport Syrian refugees for posting TikTok videos of them eating bananas in a provacative way", "Dutch university's rare penis plant blooms", & Round heads are all the rage in China, so some Chinese parents are putting their babies in pricey head gear to make their skulls more round"

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